THE FACTS

FACT OF THE WEEK

#FOTW - Fact 46:

I walked by Stevie Wonder the other day in my Chubbies. He stopped me to tell me that I looked good. Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Tom Schutzman

If you've got righteous Chubbies facts, post 'em to the Chubbies Fb page or tweet 'em @ us with hashtag #FOTW. Get scores of folks to like/retweet and you might get the venerable FACT OF THE WEEK. Word up

Fact 1:

Chubbies are the best shorts ever. (Note: this is not “Opinion 1″, this is “Fact 1″)

Fact 2:

Chubbies may or may not be made with lightning. Yes, lightning like the electric, molten-hot s*** that comes from the skies.

Fact 3:

Any sexual relations you have after purchasing a pair of Chubbies are DIRECTLY because of said Chubbies. Nothing else. Don't kid yourself.

Fact 4:

Chubbies most likely make you at least 4.2x faster (Obviously because of their aerodynamics. Can’t argue with science.)

Fact 5:

People have been known to put on their Chubbies and never take them off. Just a word of caution to those of you who have actual jobs.

Fact 6:

Your boss might not understand Chubbies but your grandpa sure as s*** does. (Ever see your grandpa wearing shorts that go below his knees? The answer is no.) Your grandpa is a lot cooler than your boss.

Fact 7:

You want a pair of Chubbies. Yes you!

Fact 8:

Wearing a different pair of Chubbies every day of the week is not excessive. You know what’s excessive? The number of phone numbers you will get because of your Chubbies. You better buy an f'in huge “black book”. Or back-up your iPhone.

Fact 9:

Chubbies are for big fat party animals. Almost exclusively.

Fact 10:

Saturdays are meant for Barbecueing, Chubbies and beer. Not much else.

Fact 11:

The 1972 Miami Dolphins were the only undefeated and untied team in professional history. Each teammate's father was wearing Chubbies at their time of conception. (from S-Dog Lewis)

Fact 12:

A million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool? Chubbies.

Fact 13:

Slangin'

Fact 14:

Men of genius are admired, men of wealth are envied, men of power are feared; men wearing Chubbies are all of the above. (from C-Daddy Ipalook)

Fact 15: Guys with chinstrap beards break out in hives when within a 10 foot radius of a pair of Chubbies.

Fact 16:

Chicks dig the Chubbies tan

Fact 17:

Any shorts longer than your Chubbies are Capri pants

Fact 18:

Jetlag and Chubbies don't exist together. Put on the shorts and you become invincible. (From Dr. J. Penner)

Fact 19:

Recent scientific studies have conclusively shown that wearing Chubbies increases the rate of facial hair growth by 3.6x

Fact 20:

Chubbies have been known to incept fools on a regular basis

Fact 21:

Chubuardo Jimenez is a legendary Mexican revolutionary who led the awesomely radical Short Shorts uprising of 2023...that's right, that's in the future and I'm talking about it like it's in the past...no big whoop.

Fact 22:

There have been reports of Chubbies spontaneously karate-chopping dudes wearing capri pants (See Fact 17)

Fact 23:

Chubbies in the wintertime is a no brainer. You'll say "But won't my legs get cold??" - The answer is no. You will be sheltered from the cold by a thick layer of sweltering women latched to your radtacular man-thighs like a pack of starving koala bears.

Fact 24:

I hate pants

Fact 25:

Usain Bolt was disallowed from wearing Chubbies to the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics because the crowd was getting pissed at all the sonic booms.

Fact 26:

If you wear shorts longer than Chubbies, you probably don't love America.

Fact 27:

No shirt, no shoes - no service. No shirt, no shoes and wears Chubbies - free milkshakes, burgers, and thigh massages from all female employees. You're welcome Jeff Spicoli.

Inspired by Big Poppa Frank Zachar of the Chubster Nation

FACT 28:

Chubbies may or may not be bulletproof (still being debated in scientific circles), but they are without a doubt abstinence proof.

Crafted by honorable Chubster Elijah Fortson

Fact 29:

The hand-stitched magnetic lining within your Chubbies has a 378 foot radius and activates at random.

Fact 30:

Don't worry about washing your 'Mericas with your whites because those colors don't run.

Fact 31:

Studies conducted by the Smithsonian indicate the reason no one can find Waldo is because he bought Chubbies early on, and has been buried under piles of women ever since.

Fact 32:

Cargo shorts are the only form of contraception that is 100% effective.

Fact 33:

Whilst freezing at Valley Forge, George Washington kept warm with shorts, sewn by Betsy Ross out of the same fabric that she used on the first American Flag. Experts refer to those shorts as the first pair of 'MERICAS.

Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Chris Backus

Fact 34:

Chubbies are what Willis was talking 'bout.

Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Duncan Bintrim

Fact 35:

Sharks have a week dedicated to Chubbies.

Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Johnny Haynes

Fact 36:

Apple tried making Chubbies, but realized they didn't have the technology.

Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Patrick Cormick

Fact 37:

I like to picture Jesus in a pair of Chubbies. It says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.